may can bring what it may

The month has arrived. It is three weeks tomorrow from Leaving Day. There are a million and one things to do, but you know, I am totally not worried about it. There are very few times I have been able to say that in the last couple of years, but I am quite at ease with where we're at and the pace we're going... and the place we're going.

Over the last few weeks Joshua and I have had a few things come up that make staying feel "safer" and more "convenient." No matter what anyone says, there really is only so much you can do when looking for a job or apartment from 1,800 miles away, especially when you are trying to be "monetarily conservative", work full time, and finish a school semester! We are moving without for-sure jobs without a for-sure address and without even a for-sure bed (unless you count the air mattress). And really... all I can think is that there is that much more potential for adventure. It's illogical and impossible to explain unless you have been so fortunate to experience this before.

There is something so indescribably priceless about knowing you are headed exactly where you ought to be.

My heart is both elated and completely nervous. It just feels like we are headed back to where we were supposed to have started. The Lord's grace is all over this. Sometimes we make decisions in the moment and hear Him clearly and sometimes we don't. Mistakes are a part of the journey and the detour is over. It's time to get back on the road!

Take That

{unedited, fresh, and raw}

I wish it would just fade, fade away
Blue to grey, blue to grey
One melancholy leaves another
The second looks up to see its mother

Day by day, the soul fails to awake
After each dehumanizing quake
Call a person a slave and watch them die
Each little drifting piece melts into the sky

Into which it stares longing and streaming
Tears for what once was when dreaming
Was the currency of an inhale
And the change of an exhale

Let it go, let it flow, let it lie
Let it fly, let it lift, let it rift
From grey to infinite, melancholy blue
For the life it knew, the life it grew

Life Like Now

I have had a few comments this week about the low volume of posts on our blog. Life is pretty mellow right now without much to share. We are always working toward the goal/stepping stone of moving back to California and really hope to make significant progress this year. We entertain ourselves by browsing jobs and apartments/real estate. All of the hoping and planning is really exciting and keeps us going on the more boring days, but we are really happy together.

Some pet projects of mine:
-searching online and compiling "look books" of how I would like to decorate different rooms in our home.
-browsing Redding real estate and falling in love with retro homes that have potential
-looking through Labrador retriever breeder websites and debating with Joshua which color we'll get (eventually)
-designing my next (and biggest) tattoo. I'm still praying about what exactly to get, but I know I want it on my shoulder and/or arm and I have a couple of potential designs in my head. No for sure plans yet, but I may be getting it as soon as my birthday (April 3).

The past month has been full of busy weekends with friends and family. We have gotten into the pleasant but dangerous habit recently of stopping by my parents' on a weeknight. It is way too much fun being with my family so we end up staying until far too late on a work-night, but these moments are so precious. In January my "little" brother (who stands at over 6' these days) turned 18 and he graduates in May. I have to admit that it is really surreal and it makes my '07 graduation feel like the distant past.

School has been lighter for both of us this semester, although I am finding myself overwhelmed some days working full time and then coming home to have a paper to write and entire books to read. On the bright side, I love both of my classes: English Comp and Forms of Literature I (Children's Lit). I have had people asking me about my applications to the schools I mentioned in my last post. I dropped the Yale and Harvard applications and I honestly don't know if I can still finish Brown's (the only school I'm even mildly interested in) but I will try. The further I went in the application process, the more it was costing and the more I realized I don't want it like I used to. I began the process to "find" where I am supposed to be and somehow I just don't know that it is at any of those places. My degree is still in progress and I will finish it, I just don't know where yet. We're working on basics and life vision here. And it's crazy, but I am actually okay with not having a precise plan.

Seven Months Married

Now that we're settled into the rhythm of the new year, it's about time for an update from the Dobler home, I suppose. A few quick notes:

• I still hesitate when someone asks my last name and it sounds something like "Ca-Dobler."
• I am blonde again, per husband's request and to my own satisfaction, thanks to the ever-magical hands of Katrina.
• We crossed our 6 month mark at the end of November! I can't believe we're on the shorter side of counting down to a year!
• Some of you may have heard of my frequent complaints of nausea and many smile in mocking disbelief when I demand that I am not pregnant. But I was right. The cause of my nausea is apparently that I have low blood sugar/low blood pressure. So eat that. :-p (No, really. I just have to increase the frequency of my meals and the protein I consume).
• (...ironically enough...) In November I started a job as office manager for Gentle Beginnings Birth Center in Hurst, TX and I LOVE it!
• I applied to Yale, Harvard, and Brown Universities. I have interviews with Brown and Yale this month. No word from Harvard yet. Ivy League is a long-time dream of mine and right now is the best time to make the grand gesture, so we are trying it out. If I had my first pick, it'd be Brown. Their course flexibility and English program are enchanting.

The last few months have been the best of our marriage, I think. Joshua and I have always been really honest with each other and that causes some tension in our relationship, but it keeps the air clear, too. Now that we have more of a rhythm with each other, I feel like we are handling uncertainties and challenges like more of a team than ever. I cannot even announce to the world how much I love this man! What a sweet Jesus I have to let him love me so.

Recently Joshua's OCD cleanness has become a contagion (I'm sure he's thinking, "Finally!" ...I'm a bit of a clutter-until-you-can't-see-the-floor-then-go-on-a-cleaning-binge kind of person) and we are going through this purging-the-unnecessary phase as far as dusty old corners and miscellaneous catch-alls go. Every so often we make trips to the magnificent Container Store for things like scarf hooks (for my infinite supply) and drawer trays (for my cosmetic plethora) and giant plastic boxes (for our newlywed Christmas collection).

Our recent save-up-and-splurge purchase was a Wii and my parents got us Wii Fit Plus for Christmas. I completely love it because the competitive creature in me loves to smear Joshua's scores into the dust (oh, yeah, and get a work-out). *As a side-note to those who own Wii Fit, have you noticed that you can input your pets' weights? I think it's a little creepy but I am just creepy enough to have my cats terrorizing my home and my Wii Fit Plaza.

Speaking of cats, our lovely 5 month old Argyle went into heat this month (joy of joys) which is when we were supposed to get her fixed. Trust me, as soon as she is done being a raging hairball of hormones, it's clippety-clop snippety-snap for both of our little felines. As much as my husband will hate me for publicly admitting this, it's true that pets take on their owners' personalities. Paisley is a cuddle-me-when-I-please and Argyle is a love-me-love-me. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which.

What's In The Works

So I've had furniture stacked in our apartment since before we got married that I need to refinish. In the last couple of days, I finally got cracking on the table and finished the painting. I just need to take a look, do a little touching up, and seal it. My next wave is the chairs, which are still a bit on the undecided side. I may do some light sanding and stain them darker. and also do the same for our ginormous mirror. We'll see how that goes. We also have an English dresser that needs a little maintenance before I can stain it a dark chestnut.

In other news, Joshua and I are praying about some pretty big college decisions so we wouldn't mind some prayer covering in that area. He is going to get his degree in psychology to pursue professional counseling and as always, I'm chasing down my English degree. He is starting in August, but no official plans have been made for me. I've applied with St. Mary-In-The-Woods College online, but still don't know if that is the best option. We'll see. :)

August 9th-16th we are going to spend in Pensacola with my family. I cannot tell you how excited we are to take a vacation with clear waters and soft sand. The days are ticking by and my little heart gets more excited about it all the time. I never feel more alive than when I am by the ocean.

Princess Paisley

 So we got a cat. After a lot of wishes for a puppy, we decided a kitten was a more practical option for us at this point (not without a little begging on my part). Her name is Paisley and she is the loudest cat you will ever meet. She meows all the time: to say hello, to ask for attention, to tell you she's mad/sad/hungry/indifferent, and just to hear herself talk. For the first two nights we had her, she kept us (me) up all night trying to pacify our recently mother-deprived little darling. After those two nights with two hours of sleep, I became resolved and we put her in "her room" (the laundry room) right after feeding and playtime at night with the sound machine turned up loud in the kitchen to drown out her cries. She's become quite a bit better and we're hoping after a couple of weeks she'll be able to "manage her freedom" during sleeping hours. Paisley is quite the prowler and stalks anything that moves or blows in the wind. (Toe biting is a habit we'd like to break). She's endearing, though, in her playfulness and her wonder at the world is too hilarious to watch. Being our "first child" she is quite spoiled with attention and affection. Lately the entertainment has been to watch her chase her tail and her shadow then climb upside down on our nightstand, as seen in the first picture. I'm sure there are many escapades to come with our family addition. What a sweet, simple joy.

Here Come The Newlyweds

So after a month of being married, I am going to peep my head back out into the blogging world. This is our "new" blog where I will be updating from now on.

I find myself in this oxymoronic position of feeling like so much has happened and still being shocked that a month has already passed. At the same time, I've found myself thinking that the last month has been so busy but I hardly feel like we've done anything! It isn't true, of course, and my husband is always the first to try and remind me of the things I accomplish that seem trivial. Sometimes at the end of a long day, just getting the dishes done before bed is a lot. However, we are completely moved in to our sweet little apartment. Every week or so something appears in it that makes it more "homey." We bought a chair and couch and hung some things on the wall. We have a TV now and then a few pieces of unfinished furniture in the process of being reborn (one of those being a table, which we've done without the last four weeks).

After a night or two out, one of us always turns to the other and says, "I miss you!" and then we proceed to stay home for the next couple of days. This may mean staying home playing Battleship or making dinner. We've gotten into watching "The Office" and have actually gulped all four seasons. However, the only actual television we watch is "Here Come The Newlyweds." The season began our first night in Galveston and the only way I've been able to keep up with it is online as our antenna is not hooked up. Joshua very graciously acquiesces to my once-a-week-one-hour indulgence.

This last weekend, we had several people over for a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition marathon. It had been much talked about in months previous so we finally pulled it off, complete with Middle-Earth fare. We have come to the full realization that we are a nerdy couple (in addition in our own rite). He likes Serenity, Firefly, sci-fi, comics, and things of that nature. I adore literature and Lord of the Rings. For the most part, we respect that line although every now and then I maintain that I get bumped up a rank for liking literature, but once you start actually trying to measure these things, you realize just how far gone you really are. :)

As soon as I figure out a way to get my silly camera hooked up to my computer (somehow in all the moving the cord went missing!) I will share pictures of our honeymoon and home. We've been able to browse our wedding photos but they're not quite ready for general viewing yet. Trust me, I'm anxious to share!